I can’t believe it’s been a year since Aladdin and I have been engaged! We opted for an extra long engagement, partially by choice, partially by necessity. Right before we got engaged, my wonderful future sister-in-law was proposed to. Unbeknownst to me, it is a Filipino superstition that two siblings cannot be married in the same year, which means Aladdin and I would have to default to 2012. Truthfully, I love being engaged – it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me! In retrospect, I’m thrilled that we’ve had so much time to truly map out the details and how we want this wedding to reflect us as a couple. With what seemed like ample time, I’m beginning to feel the tick..tock.. of the days flying by and our wedding nearing quickly. I’m relieved to say that we have had our venue for quite some time, so that has stress has been alleviated. We fell head over heels for  the Spanish architecture of the breathtaking Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables. Doesn’t it just transport you from the US to some European Villa?

When I first became engaged, a recently married friend offered me one piece of advice. To paraphrase, she said: During the wedding, one major thing will go horribly, horribly wrong. As it happens, realize that it’s the one thing that’s going to go wrong. Deal with it, relax and move on because the one thing that was going to go wrong has and now it’s done.

Her major snag ended up being when her mother tore the crumbcatcher off the front of her gown moments before she was to walk down the aisle.

Well, our major snag has already happened four months outside of our wedding date. My dress is still in tact, but everything else has been ripped to shreds.

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I was recently having a conversation with a good friend about the wedding and she announced that she was bringing a mutual acquaintance as her date to the wedding.I was quite alarmed because we’re about 6 weeks away from sending the invitations out and she’s already picked a +1. It’s a problem because we have a tight budget and our venue has a maximum capacity of 150, which we’re at about 146. The person she’s planning to invite is someone I wouldn’t invite to the wedding–and it’s not someone she’s been dating, it’s a friend of hers that we both went to school with. I hope that when she gets the message when when we send the announcements. But with our budget and venue restrictions, I’m worried I’ll have to make it more clear. Not to mention I’m not sure I really want to have the “plus one” there anyway.

Any suggestions on how to make it clear to our guests that a plus one isn’t necessarily acceptable, and  how to let my friend down easy?

This past weekend, Olive Dude, his parents, and I went to look at three venues. My parents had asked that I do the “preliminary looking”, and then they would come down from NJ to only see “the one” or “the two” that I loved. One of the three was a definite no – they would not be able to fit the number of people we’re having.

Here lies the problem: I love both of the other two. So, please join me on my list of pros and cons for each, and, if you will, let me know what you think!

Venue 1: Stone Manor Country Club
Stone Manor is about 45 minutes away from where Olive Dude and I live. For the number of people we’re having, the ceremony would be outside, and the reception in a huge tent. This tent is carpeted, has chandeliers, etc. Plan B (for rain) – ceremony also moves inside the tent.

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I am happy to report that Dogwood Dude and I found every single one of our parameters when searching for our destination wedding! The Key Largo Grande Resort & Beach Club is an hour from Miami Airport, budget friendly for us and our guests (especially for those Hilton Rewards Members), has two amazing 3^rd floor rooms overlooking the ocean in case of rain, has a beach covered in arching hammock trees….and PLENTY to do! The funny thing is that so many people ask me how we chose Key Largo, which seems so remote to most, and I always tell them…we just had five parameters!

Here are some pics!

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I am going to be honest with you from the beginning… we spent A LOT of time figuring out where we wanted to get married! The good news, Dogwood Dude and I did it all from the comfort of our own couch! All we needed was Google Maps and a bunch of browser windows.  We started in North Carolina and went all the way down the east coast of Florida and back up to the panhandle to find the perfect location.  I know that seems a little daunting, but you just have to set parameters and I suggest tackling one city a night.

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I will say this about finding your “dream wedding venue”: it’s a lot like finding your Dude. First of all, you’ll probably find plenty that just aren’t right for you. When you think you’ve found the right one, it’s all about a feeling – you can write a list of what you’re looking for, but when it comes down to it, it’s all about what feels right. For instance, when I met Iris Dude, I just knew he was right. And when I walked into Marbles Kids Museum, I knew it was right too.

When looking for our venue, I did have a brief list of “needs”: I needed a place where we could have our ceremony and reception in the same place. I needed a venue that was entirely indoors, or had an easy (and free) rain plan. I preferred a place that would let me choose my own caterer. And I needed somewhere fun, somewhere that felt alive and exciting and playful. What better place than a kids museum?

This picture was taken from the second floor, looking down at another event in the main area where our ceremony and reception will be held. Isn’t the globe great?

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Location plays a very large role in the “look and feel” of a wedding, which is one of the reasons why venue was at the top of Periwinkle Dude’s and my decision list after we got engaged.  We began our search for the perfect reception venue by browsing through a book I picked up called “Wedding Sites and Services”.  Who knew that a $5 investment was going to turn out to be a HUGE help in the planning process.  The compilation of data in the book for each venue (e.g., price range, capacity, cuisine, sample menu, etc.) was a great starting point and let us compare and narrow down the different options from a numbers perspective before we went out for site visits.  Tip: There are different volumes available for various locations throughout the U.S. which means there might be one out there for you — and if so I would highly recommend you check it out if you’re in the market for a wedding site!

Wedding Sites and Services

Periwinkle Dude and I both grew up, went to school, now work, and have family & friends in the big apple – so we were pretty certain we wanted to get married in the New York area.  We looked into a few Manhattan venues, but quickly learned the capacity limits were not very high on the limited number of places that might be construed as affordable, and all the “big names” with great big ballrooms to match were out of our target price range.

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For all the non-brides out there, or at least for the non-bride in me, it is excruciating to hear brides talk about their wedding being “so us”! “We did golf tees for favours because we both love to play golf”, sounds more like “what do you mean you and your fiance don’t share all the same hobbies?”.

Of course I know I am being a bit dramatic, but the truth is, Geranium dude and I are opposites in so many ways. He drinks beer… and only beer! I love to try new wines, champagnes, and martinis. He plays Sudoku, I read wedding blogs. He thinks a potluck wedding would be awesome, and I think… “are you kidding me?!?!”. So needless to say, picking a wedding style and venue was a bit of challenge for us! In reality, we weren’t completely sold on the idea of having a wedding until we saw this:

By 6:8 photography

By 6:8 photography

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