Well Garden, I think it’s time to address my sometimes severely Type A personality. Most of my Future In Laws already know that my shout of “I WIN” to making good guacamole or winning at Banagrams is just genuinely me. I like to make everything into a “fun little game” and then focus intently on the way to WIN said game. To quote Maria Bamford‘s set “Life isn’t a game, but if it is- I’m winning.”
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No one would be grading my “wedding work” so why did it all matter? Because I am a self-confessed-sometimes-perfectionist. I found reading blogs about less than perfect people to be quite helpful. But the greatest gift any wedding blog has ever given me was this one simple article… Your Wedding is Not a Contest by the Offbeat Bride. Finally someone telling me in no uncertain terms that it’s okay to break tradition and it’s okay to be somewhat traditional too- and that there was really no way to get it wrong. It’s just about us.
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There are several variations of the traditional bouquet toss that seem to be making the rounds in wedding trends. Below are a few that I found to be most interesting. Open to other suggestions, too!
1) Bouquet Dance – All married couples gather on the dance floor for a slow dance. As the song progresses the emcee announces that all newlyweds move out of the center of the dance floor. As the song progresses more and more couples are asked to leave as the number of years married increases. Finally one couple is left, and that is the couple awarded the bouquet in congratulations. My one bridesmaid did this at her wedding (though she also did a traditional bouquet toss, too). There was a darling couple that had been married for over 60 years, and they looked to be so genuinely in love. It was a beautiful moment, and I didn’t even know the couple. When they announced how long they had been married, they received a standing ovation! I think this could be a beautiful thing to incorporate into my own wedding.
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Dogwood Dude and I have begun to interview photographers and have found some great ones in the Miami/Keys area through WeddingWire. We browsed many photos, read tons of reviews and have asked all the typical questions. After going through my list, I asked the photographers if they could think of any question I forgot to ask or had any questions for Dogwood Dude and me. I never expected to get this one… Do you plan to see each other before the ceremony? I have always pictured myself walking down the aisle and seeing DD’s face when he saw me for the first time, but I couldn’t answer immediately for some reason. There was this little voice in the back of my head that kept thinking how great it would be to have that moment to ourselves.
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This week, I had an annoying encounter with an acquaintance. When I referred to Calla Lily Dude as “my fiance” she looked down at my left hand and said (with clear pity in her voice) “Oh, no ring?” When I explained that I proposed and that we both wear engagement rings, she smiled politely and said, “That’s so sweet, but it’s not a real engagement ring.”
I tell you, it took all the strength in me not to cause her bodily harm… Some nerve, right? Just because my engagement ring doesn’t follow tradition doesn’t make it any less “real.”
By Sargent Photoworks
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I’m usually not much for tradition, but one that I will be proud to carry on is wearing this heirloom necklace. Women in my dad’s family for at least the last four generations have been wearing this delicate confection of gold, pearls and peridots as part of their wedding finery.
Pearl and peridot necklace
When I went home recently for a wedding shower, my sister-in-law presented me with the necklace. I already had it in mind when I chose my dress (in a post yet to come!) and I am so excited to be able to wear it on my wedding day.
As far as the other parts of the tradition go, my something new will be my dress, and a beautiful blue topaz ring worn by my mother and maternal grandmother will do double duty for my something blue and something borrowed. I am glad that I will have the opportunity to wear jewelry from both sides of my family and in a small way, honor my two late grandmothers.
What family traditions are you carrying on?
My sister/MOH emailed me about setting up a shower for me over the next few months.
From partyinvitationsblog.com
Immediately, I started to feel panic over being the center of attention at a party. I’m not really into the whole open-presents-and-oh-and-ah thing either. I never really liked this idea at a birthday party, and at least then, you haven’t registered for gifts! I’ve recently been feeling like throwing out some wedding “musts” and I know we’ve discussed it here before, but now, I’m faced with the decision.
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It is an old tradition to ask the bride’s parents for permission before popping the question. I think this is silly and outdated. I mean, what am I? A piece of property? Maybe I’m just too much of the F word: a feminist. When Poppy Dude proposed, he did not ask my parents for permission to marry me, and they were perfectly fine with that (plus they loved him). They, and I, felt that I am an adult and can make my own decisions. And to be frank, if they had said no, I still would have married Poppy Dude.
Poppy Dad raising his glass in approval at our wedding.
It is hard for me to look past the sexist symbolism, but I can see understand how some might think it is polite to ask the parents, especially since the bride’s family pays for most of the wedding. But besides that, why would a potential groom-to-be ask his girlfriend’s parents for permission?
Did your fiance ask your parents for permission? Did you prefer or require he do that?
