Disaster. Serious disaster. I don’t know what else I can do to fix it- disaster.

We’re missing some very important mail sent via the USPS. It’s been gone more than a month at this point.

My FSMIL (Future-Step-Mother-In-Law for those of you unfamiliar) in Cali sent EVERY childhood picture of they have of Pansy Dude with his mummy via the USPS priority mail over a month ago.

I asked her to if we could have them because Pansy Dude’s mom died of breast cancer when he was in middle school and in lieu of favors we had decided to make a donation to the American Cancer Society. Every reception table was going to have a picture of childhood-age Pansy Dude with his mom and an explanation of the donation in a hinged frame.

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Now, honestly, I am not one to complain – I’m really not. I’ve heard time and time again that, “wedding planning is so stressful”, or that “you will spend every waking minute planning”. I can see how it might be stressful, so many decisions to make, vendors to deal with, etc. But we enjoy spending this time planning. So far there has just been one small hiccup.

Mum Dude and I decided to do a wedding website and to have this completed before we sent out our STD’s (with the website URL included). Last minute I decided to include a video slideshow to introduce our guests to the immediate families. We both come from divorced parents so lets just say there are several parents involved. I sent an email to all the parents saying, “the website is FINALLY done – check it out”.

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I have no problem saying that I think I have the most amazing shoes for my wedding. I chose my dress around my shoes, and my shoes cost me twice as much as my dress. I suppose that’s not saying a lot, as I only spent $160 on my dress.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my dress- it fits me and my personality perfectly. But, mostly I love how amazing my shoes look with my dress.

Truth be told, I picked out my shoes soon after I got engaged. Thinking I had plenty of time, I held off buying them and THEN they were featured in a full page spread in a very popular wedding magazine. I happened to see the page flipping through bridal magazines at my local market. I went home, got online- and they were SOLD OUT. MY shoes=SOLD OUT.

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I’m not the type of person to take random quizzes to figure out things like “What’s your bridal style?” or “What kind of groom is he?” but I found myself taking the “Are you a Bridezilla?” quiz on TheKnot. Here are my results:

Yup, you’re a Bridezilla!

How can we put this gently: Somewhere along the way from “Yes!” to “I do,” you’ve lost your subtle sensitivity. Your admirable ambition to create the best possible celebration for friends and family has turned into somewhat of a crusade, and those around you are suffering. It’s time to relax a bit and probably take a little break from the planning. Go for dinner or drinks with your guy and your gal pals, and don’t talk about the wedding – not even once. Because remember, once you’re married, these people will return to being your family and friends — not members of your wedding party. Cut people a little slack.

Amazing, I never thought I would be a Bridezilla, but I can see how others might think so based on some of my answers to the questions… I am a hands-on, detail oriented bride and I want my wedding to be as near to perfect as humanly possible, but I also can’t walk all over others to make that happen…

To avoid being a Bridezilla, I propose the following tips (that I will start working on this instant!):

1. Practice healthy habits and reduce stress. Eat a sensible and balanced diet, get regular exercise, get your beauty sleep, and chill out. Massages are a great way to reduce stress and pamper yourself!

2. Plan wedding-free time–be it an hour, a day, weekend, or week–where you do not talk about the wedding at all. If you slip up and start in on wedding talk, do something nice (and un-wedding related!) for your fiance.

3. Avoid making sudden decisions. Take a step back and sleep on wedding decisions so you don’t make any rash choices or hurt your friends and families in the process. And don’t forget to value input from the appropriate parties in matters that affect them.

You can get more advice on avoiding becoming a Bridezilla here.

So, if you have any Bridezilla tendencies, you don’t have to give in… And if you already have, like I apparently have, you can always turn the tides and be a civilized bride again!

From http://flickr.com/photos/foreignoffice/

One of the first things that I learned about planning a wedding is that it requires delicate negotiations that would give even the most seasoned member of the U.N. palpitations.

Think about it: in most weddings, there are many parties involved with varying levels of financial involvement and influence. Each has their own agenda, which may or may not overlap with that of the other parties. Even if you don’t normally have family strife, planning a wedding can bring latent issues to the fore. In our case, the parties include myself, Plumeria Dude, Plumeria Parents and Plumeria Dude’s parents. At times other friends and relatives may be involved too. Things can get complicated quickly.

Here’s how we coped:

1. Present a united front. Make sure that you and your fiancé agree on a specific issue– be it guest list, location, or even menu choice — before you discuss it with the other parties. That way they can’t try to play you two off one another and your feelings will have greater weight.
2. Decide what’s really important to you. That way, you won’t spend valuable time, energy and political capital on something that’s trivial in the grand scheme of things. I suggest breaking things down in order of importance from absolutely crucial to could care less. Then stick to it. This way, you won’t be fighting about how the napkins are folded unless it is super important.
3. Negotiating isn’t just for dealing with vendors. If you Great-Grandma Gretel is dead set on you wearing a veil, and yet you absolutely don’t want to take part in this tradition, consider compromising. How about wearing a kicky feather fascinator with birdcage veil? Or you could think of another way to make GGG smile, like wrapping some of the lace from her veil around your bouquet.

The bottom line is that there are many ways to skin a cat and plan a wedding. It’ll go smoothly if you’re lucky, but mastering the art of wedding diplomacy will help too!

I don’t know how anyone plans a wedding during the holidays. I have so much going on, I haven’t had time to research officiants, schedule our tastings, look into a honeymoon, or decide on the invitation design. All things I thought we’d have done by now. Somehow they all slipped away from us. I am leaving in 7 days (ack!) to head cross country to go home for the holidays (where I will do wedding planning). I’ve got my Christmas cards to write and send, shopping to do, packing and planning for activities while home – I don’t have time for wedding planning! Ahhhhhhh.

With a year and a half engagement, I thought we had it made. We got a lot planned up front, and I thought we were way ahead of the game. But now, I am stressed! And we still have so much more to do! All the checklists say that you should have you officiant booked 6 months before the wedding. That would be last Saturday. I hope that’s a guideline with a lot of wiggle room. I know it will all end up coming together, but December has been rough, and it’s only the 12th. What’s a stressed out, but normally calm bride-to-be to do during this time? How can I be stress-free in December at the 6-month mark?