This past Saturday, I served as a bridesmaid in Violet Blossom’s wedding. It was an absolutely beautiful wedding, and I was proud to be a part of it. Violet Blossom and I have been friends since kindergarten, in case the Garden didn’t know!
I’ve been a bridesmaid in multiple weddings before Violet’s, but this is the first since getting engaged. I know that Violet Blossom is excited for me to be engaged, but I also knew that I should keep discussion focused on her wedding from her bridal shower to her reception. We did talk here and there about my pending nuptials, but I was careful to stay focused on her big day.
I will say that being a bridesmaid in the midst of planning your own wedding offers a unique opportunity to learn and observe. I hadn’t been a bridesmaid since fall of 2009, so this past Saturday served as a reminder of how things go. I also took notes on things to look for in decor, ceremony details, and some vendors. Violet Blossom’s DJ, Jason from Cipriano Productions, was a blast, so I might end up hiring him for my own big day!
So I feel that, although it was a new experience, being a bridesmaid while engaged was also a great experience full of laughter and learning opportunities. I feel that I kept a good balance between my own excitement and the joy I felt for my friend!
Recently, my amazing MOH has started doing some research for my shower. As all good planners do, she asked for a rough estimate of the guest list. I went to my mother and she and I compiled a list of people, all of whom have known me most of my life, are close friends, or relatives. Then, I asked my MIL for her guest list, which is where my etiquette conundrum began.
On the list she gave me, of the 40 people she wanted to invite, I had only ever met (and remembered meeting) 13 of them. Violet Dude informed me of a few relatives that were on the list that I met at a family reunion once, but I couldn’t pick them out in a line up if I tried.
I’m planning on calling my MIL and having the discussion with her about reducing her guest list. This is my reasoning:
1. The bridal shower should be people that know me, that I’ve met and that I don’t have to be reintroduced to at my own bridal shower.
2. It’s kind of rude to invite people, who haven’t met me before, especially because the shower is a gift giving occasion. I’d feel really uncomfortable receiving a gift from someone I’ve only met once or that I’ve never met.
3. Her guest list is almost as large as my mom’s and mine combined. (We both have around 22, so it’s 44 combined) I have a problem with this, since it is MY shower and Violet Dude won’t be there.
4. I think having 80 some guests is a little overwhelming for a shower. I know some of you are planning weddings that aren’t even that big! But, I don’t want to have two showers because finding time for us to have one is going to be stressful enough.
5. The day should be about me, my friends and my family. I have become close to Violet Dude’s family as well, and I’d like to invite the ones I have become close to, but I’m relatively sure that his second cousin probably doesn’t want to come to my shower any more than I want her to be there. The wedding is a different story completely.
So, Garden, what do you think? Am I being a bridezilla? Should I just give in and let her invite all 40? Or, does etiquette dictate that I’m making the right choice?
It took me a bit longer than the 3 months Emily Post recommends, but I managed to get all 133 of our thank-you notes out by the deadline I had set for myself: 6 months after the wedding. You may be wondering what took me so long, and the answer is simple — my undying indecisiveness of course! I knew from the start that I wanted photo thank-you cards, but for months I could not decide which photo to choose out of the 2600+ proofs our photographers provided us! Eventually, and not without a lot of prodding from Periwinkle Dude, I finally chose a thank-you card design…
I created the proof on Shutterfly using one of their templates, ordered the appropriate number of cards, and received my order within a week! The quality and size of the cards were great, the online templates were easy to use, and there was a style for just about everyone! My Shutterfly thank you cards were customized to my liking (notice the periwinkle color at the bottom of the card!) and were larger in size but less expensive than the cards my photographer offered in our wedding package. I would definitely recommend this idea to those of you interested in photo cards!