When I was in high school (5 years ago) I had a group of girlfriends that I swore up and down I would be best friends with forever. We were inseperable. Now, 5 years later it’s definitely changed. Between going off to college, jobs, and changes in lifestyles, I’m only still close friends with one of those girls. Now, I’m not the social butterfly of the world, by any means, but I’m also not unfriendly. The college that I went to was a commuter college, and I was a commuter myself, which made it difficult to make and keep friends.

Fast forward to today…when I’m trying to plan my wedding and I only have two female friends that I consider close enough to be bridesmaids. All of my other friends are either boys or I’m just not close enough to them to feel comfortable asking them to be in my wedding. Now, I would be completely fine having only two bridesmaids, except for the fact that Violet dude has about 5 guys in mind for groomsmen. This creates a bit of a number problem.

I am beginning grad school on Tuesday, and the way that my program is scheduled, I will be with the same 40 people every day for the next 3 years. I’m sure that I’ll make some close female friends in that time, and because our wedding is still 19 months away, I still have time to become close enough to some of them to make them bridesmaids.

But, here is where my problem lies. I will only have known these girls for about a year before I have to decide if I want them to be in my wedding. I’m terrified that I will look back in 30 years and regret my decision to ask someone who I had only known a short amount of time to be in my wedding. On the other hand, I have some other friends who I have known for a little while longer but who I’m not as close with who I could also ask. It’s a tough decision, and I’m coming to the garden for help.

Were you in a similar situation when you chose your bridesmaids? How did you deal with this? For those of you who are already married, have you looked back and regretted your decisions? Is it better to have a friend you haven’t known that long in your wedding, or is it better to have friends who you have known longer but aren’t as close with? Or, should I just swallow my pride and have 2 bridesmaids while Violet dude has 5 groomsmen?

Help!

Everything from deciding on a wedding party to what they would wear to Lilac Dude finally asking his best man was a bit stressful. Please note that our friends do not stress us out, we just had some interesting choices to make.

My bridesmaids were originally to be: my sister, my sister-in-law, my good friend from high school and my good friend/roommate from college.

That didn’t happen…. more accurately most of it happened.

If you noticed, there are only three ladies dressed in green instead of the four I had planned on. To make an extremely long and somewhat painful story short: my sister removed herself from my bridal party.

I didn’t want anyone else as a bridesmaid, nor did I have time to ask someone new so I had three bridesmaids and Lilac Dude had four groomsmen. As much as we wanted even numbers with us at the alter, we weren’t going to ask one of the men to step down or scramble to find another bridesmaid who might fit into my sister’s dress. So we were” hip and trendy” with an odd number of attendants.

It didn’t look strange at all. But there was one minor issue… When the party recessed down the aisle we had an extra man. But my college roommate jumped right in with a solution:

And so that worked out well and got a lot of laughs.

Overall, I’m happy with how things worked out with our wedding party. My now brother-in-law gladly accepted the honor of being the best man and my bridesmaids were such a force leading up to and on our wedding day that not having my sister in the wedding didn’t become a disaster.

We had some fantastic people behind the scenes before, during and after our wedding.

And for some encore silly pictures:

What about your wedding party? How did you pick them?

(All photos by Chatman Photography)

The venue that Morning Glory Bear (MGB as I will put him for short) and I picked to have our ceremony and reception is a nice waterfront venue tucked back in a neighborhood. It actually used to be a crappy little restaurant/bar and the catering company bought it and completely gutted and remodeled the place. I love the view and it will make for some great photo ops, but I’m worried about the lack of variety and creativity available for pictures after the ceremony. Since 75% of the venue is physically on the water (see below for picture) it’s literally just the docks for pictures. There’s no beach or really anywhere to go on-site to make for different pictures.

Copyright Cesar Chavez Photography

So, basically MGB and I talked about going offsite after the ceremony to take our bridal party/family pictures. Luckily, there is a nice park about 5 minutes away with a beach, pavilion and another dock to take pictures at. I was worried about finding somewhere that was close enough to not take time away from the reception time and was pretty enough to allow the photographer some creative leeway. In my nervousness to make sure everything goes according to plan, I don’t want this to end up being chaotic! I still want to do pictures at the venue on the docks, especially something like this at the end of the night.

Copyright Theresa Choi Photography

Are you doing offsite pictures after your ceremony? If you already did, how did it go?

I was going to write about this topic at some point in the future but since Martha Weddings tweeted brides asking what the biggest challenge is I thought I’d talk about the theme issue now.

So here is my take on the topic: I guarantee that the first 3 months or so after you get engaged you will do nothing but scour every wedding website known to man and write down dozens of things you think are neat, cute, pretty and memorable.  Therefore, you will inevitably become totally confused and disheartened about the fact that you have no clue what you want.  Well, my tip is this, do all of that until you are blue in the face and then give yourself a break from the planning as it will all come together in time.  It all comes down to budget and the initial feeling of how you wanted the wedding to go.

Me and Mr.Pom initially wanted to go to an island and have a really small ceremony followed by a party closer to home.  Thinking all of it through I am now, after 4 months of deliberating with myself, going with a simple theme.  I never wanted to pick colors and I also never truly wanted a theme.  So here goes, I’m thinking of classic white – because it’s classic AND simple – with pops of yellow, because yellow brightens even the gloomiest days.  This would not only give the whole reception tent an airy feeling but it would also keep true to our original desire of having a simple and effortless wedding.  The fact that we are getting married on a lake only adds to the simplicity and fun.

So, since I can’t physically decorate the tent prior to the actual day I stumbled upon Pinterest and began pinning my ideas of white and yellow accents.  You can see my wedding pinboard here:

How has the theme process been for you?

I have officially found a part of wedding planning that I don’t like….blocking hotel rooms. Now, I must say…I think this is because I encountered one of the worse “customer service” representatives ever but still, this is not a fun process. Another disclaimer, it may be because I was completely unaware of how the process worked entirely so let me educate those who do not know. First, I found a few hotels in the area of our reception and started with some phone calls. Most of the hotel reps are nice to you because you are booking a good number of rooms but my dear friend from the Hilton (the hotel we wanted) was not so nice. I admittedly did not know that if you set aside a portion of rooms and do not use them, you are on the hook for paying for a portion of the unused rooms. Maybe I’ve been living under a rock but I had no idea that this was part of the contract. Who knew!? Apparently not me….and my Hilton friend made me very aware of it.

The Hilton Garden Inn where our out of town guests will be staying

So despite the terrible customer service, we went ahead and set aside a block of rooms at the Hilton because that is the nicest hotel in the area (and surprisingly not too terribly more expensive than the others). I will say this—the Hilton did send us information about creating a personalized website where guests can go and book their rooms so that is nifty! Word to the wise- do your research first before you jump into something like this. I didn’t…and was in for a curve ball! Has anyone else out there had a similar experience?

No….I do NOT have a bun in the oven BUT I found out last week that one of my bridesmaids does!!! What an exciting time for all of us! Her and her husband have been trying for what seems like forever, which makes this little miracle baby so much more of a blessing. Guess what her due date is? June 3rd. Guess when our wedding is. June 9th. I love it!

When she first told me, I honestly didn’t even think about my wedding. All I could think about was how happy I was for her. She was so scared that I would be mad or not want her to be bridesmaid, which is 100% the opposite of how I felt. She will still be my bridesmaid no matter if she is about to pop, in the hospital or a new mommy. We’ll just have to wait and see!

My preggo bridesmaid and I on HER wedding day!

This brings us to a new test…what to do for bridesmaid dresses. Her and I spent some time at a store over the weekend looking at some dresses. I believe I have decided to do long chiffon dresses. (Disclaimer: this could change tomorrow. I really haven’t made up my mind yet.) Not knowing what exactly her body will be like, we decided to go ahead and see who had maternity dresses. B2, by Jasmine, has a ton of them! My theory is to let her pick one out then my MOH, followed by the other girls. There are 22 different options to choose from for them! I hope that will allow them to wear something that they feel comfortable in.

One of the MANY maternity dresses Jasmine Bridal offers

So not only will I be married next June, I’ll also have a little “niece or nephew.” I couldn’t be happier! What an exciting month June 2012 will be!

I know I’ve been a bit absent from here lately but I promise I have a good explanation. Like I’ve said before, I work in college athletics and well…..it’s football season. Need I say more? Nonetheless, I’ve still been wedding planning and have plenty to share! We are about 7 months away from the BIG DAY and honestly, I’m not stressing too much about anything except for one: bridesmaid dresses. We don’t have them yet and I’m certainly beginning to stress a bit. Here are some that I have found but am not totally sold on them yet. Let me know what you think.

Love these..from JCrew. Only issue is price, $225-just a little high.

Another JCrew find. Love it!

Love the coral one...from Allure Bridal

The week before the wedding is a total blur. I can not believe how fast it went.  I was fortunate enough to have had a ton of vacation days so I took the whole week off prior to the wedding, which really helped cut down on the stress level. My mom and I sat around and watched a lot of scary movies and started the off-the-air tv series, Jericho! Thank you Netflix instant! Exciting, I know!

Here is the week summed up in one little blog post!

Part #1: Wedding Prep

Poinsettia Dude flew back from San Francisco and we got our marriage license.

I got my hair highlighted at Glynn Jones Salon by the best colorist (personal opinion) in DC!

A process that took over 3 hours (3.5 to be exact) and about 1,000 foils (a complete exaggeration)!

My sister, mom, and I had a relaxing time at a local spa where we received manis & pedis and awesome chair massages.

We sipped on free champagne while we got our Shellac gel manicures.

And of course, it wouldn’t be a wedding week without a few last minute wedding crafts.  With the help of the bridesmaids, we finished the programs just in time!

As you may know, wedding planning makes people crazy.  It is somewhat exaggerated the week of the wedding because of all the last minute items that pop up or need crossed off.  If you have the vacation time, I highly recommend taking off the week of the wedding. Trust me, you will need it for your sanity! Within minutes, I went from being cool as a cucumber watching a movie to having a minor anxiety attack about all the little wedding details that still needed to be done, whether they were within my control or not!

Me and mr. Pom live on the East Coast and my parents and brother live on the West.  I really don’t think about it much, until someone brings it up.  In this case the nice lady who called me to remind me about the event Crate & Barrel is holding for engaged couples.  Mr.Pom is out of the country so I was totally planning on going by myself.  No big deal.

The lady on the other side of the phone said, oh, well if he’s gone you can bring your mom or friend.  Unfortunatelly all of my friends and bridesmaids don’t live in the same state or have babies which is perfectly fine.  I’m sure I could ask a baby less friend, I’d have to think about who that might be, but I never want to inconvenience anyone.  I’m one of those people who always feels bad or is shy when someone does something nice…take for example my bachelorette, I kept trying to give people money because I felt bad that people were paying for me, until one of my bridemaids took my money away from me so I would stop.

Anywho, so I had to kindly tell the lady, that it’s great that I could bring someone but I was pretty certain I would be coming along.  And no, my mom won’t be able to make it.  I just felt so sad and pathetic when all along I was so excited for the event.

How are you gals getting through some of the wedding moodswings?

I recently looked at some photos from my friend’s wedding, I was in it.  The stress of the wedding could not have been shown any better than in my face, on almost every photograph.  I feel awful about this but at the same time, I cannot put all of the blame on myself.

This made me think about my own upcoming wedding.  The last thing I and Mr. Pom would want is unhappy people.  Yes I know, you can’t please everyone.  However, I want everyone to have a great time and not be stressed about silly things such as their dresses, how they look and whether sashes are tied correctly.  I have already thanked my bridesmaids, yes we finally settled on two people each, and told them that the bridal shower will be the only stressful and time consuming thing they’ll have to do.

I am going to let the bridesmaids pick their own dresses, hopefully they won’t even need to buy ones. I’ll simply give them a color and let them go.  The wedding day is supposed to be about love and fun, not making sure that everyone looks identical and matches the table cloths!

So here’s to all us brides who are more excited about the prospect of getting married, wearing a pretty dress and hanging out with all of our friends and family!

That’s right, girls! I have a wedding dress! I just cannot believe it.

I wasn’t originally planning on going wedding dress shopping so soon. In fact, I wanted to put it off as long as possible. You see, the very idea of trying to organize this big outing with all of my bridesmaids and mother in tow so I could parade about in different dresses stressed me out to the max! And after watching so many wedding shows, I thought that was how it was just supposed to be. I am beyond delighted to report that my experience was not the least bit stressful!

Grandmother Dandelion was in town and because I don’t get to see her often, I really wanted to do something wedding related while she was staying with us. The original plan was to take her to tour the venue with us. However, the venue wasn’t open for touring because of an event so that was out. At home just a few days ago, I was watching “Four Weddings” with my mom and grandmother. Dandelion Mom brought up the idea of going wedding dress shopping the next morning. At first I was totally against it because it gave me such anxiety. But, I really did want to do something for my grandmother and I knew she would love to see me trying on the different gowns. So I agreed. And after sending my M.O.H. a quick text asking if it was okay if I somehow by the grace of God found The Dress without her, we went to a bridal shop called Azalea Bridal & Formal located in Snellville, GA. I just canNOT recommend this shop enough! I had gone wedding dress browsing before and it was not fun; the store was super uptight (to the point that I was not allowed to touch the gowns and the employees had to dress me with my arms stuck out to the sides) and I left feeling incredibly discouraged at the prospect of ever finding a gown that both spoke to my style of traditional & unique AND within my tight-tight budget.

My wedding dress good luck charm!

My experience with Azalea (http://azaleabridal.com/) was so polar opposite! First of all, ALL of their gowns are in the $300-$1500 price range. This was a huge deal to me because some places considered “budget bridal” to be $1500+! Second, there were SO many styles to choose from. I’m certain brides of all different kinds of personalities and tastes would be able to find something that suited them. They were also incredibly laid-back. They knew exactly when to help me and offer their opinion and when to step back and let me browse by myself. They were so kind and I look forward to when I can go back for my fitting in about 14 weeks! And can I just say how fabulous it was to receive a 15% off coupon valid for ANYTHING IN THE STORE? Wow.

And so, I found my dress at this gem of a bridal shop. I have pictures of me in the sample size, but I’d rather wait until my fitting to post pictures of me in the gown. And no worries, I’ve kept this blog a secret from Mr. Lion for this very reason. But, here is a photo from the same designer (Eden Bridal).

This was my runner-up dress.

You wouldn’t believe that the dress only cost $950! (Less with the coupon!) They just look so much more expensive than that. My maid of honor almost asked me how I was able to afford such a dress on my budget! I had a great time trying on all the dresses. And I just loved having only my mother and grandmother there. I adore my bridesmaids, but it made the experience so low-key just like I wanted.

Who accompanied you when you found your wedding gown? Did anyone find their dress by themselves (like my mom!)?

Hello there garden! I’m one of the newest bloggers here on BridalBuds and I’m so excited to document my experience and trade ideas with you guys. Let’s start off with just a little bit about me and my fiance:

Mr. Lion and I!

(not the best photo, but the only one I could find on this computer!)

Well Mr. Lion and I will have been together for five years next month!  I was 16 and he was 19 when we met, and we are now 21 and 25 respectively. For the bulk of our relationship it’s been semi-long distance, since we attended different high schools and colleges. Mr. Lion graduated with an accounting degree and now works in the accounts payable department of a third-party logistics company (yeah, I don’t really know what that means either…). I’m currently in my senior year of college, studying art and set to graduate in December 2012. I’m a photographer, running my own portraiture and wedding photography business (www.rachelkathrynphotography.com). Mr. Lion is a self-taught guitar player and pretty incredible, if I do say so myself!

We’re having a long engagement. And I mean long. Two and a half years to be precise. This month will be our “one year engagement” anniversary, and we’re planning the wedding for April 2013. This caused a lot of raised eyebrows and comments about how you’re SUPPOSED to do things, but its just what works for us. Since the beginning we knew our education came first and so it was really important to us that I earn my degree before we got hitched. While I would give anything to go ahead and be married tomorrow, I’ve definitely enjoyed the perks of a long engagement. One of which is getting to just relax and enjoy being engaged for awhile! Now that we are a year and a half away from the wedding, we are really starting the process of planning and it’s been both fun and nerve-wracking.

Mr. Lion and I are on a tight budget. What with our student loans, we don’t want to start our lives together more in debt than we need to be. Our budget is set at $6,000. Now, I’ve seen beautiful weddings that cost more and less than this, so I know it is more than possible. I’m trying to look at it as a challenge; “Champagne taste on a beer budget” is a motto of sorts for me. We don’t have a lot of money to spend so we’re just going to have to spend it wisely!

That’s enough rambling on my end. Looking forward to reading and posting!

Anyone else with a long engagement? Why did you decide to have a long engagement?

Here is another big dilemma that I have encountered while wedding planning…the wedding party.

I personally have had the opinion that you should either have no wedding party or have 10 people each.  Here is why I am leaning towards the first.  The whole wedding is about people getting together and about family and friends.  I would rather have the actual ceremony be just about me and Mr. Pom.  If need be, I’d include our parents and have them stand next to us.

Here is an extreme scenario…I was in a wedding recently and a few days leading up to my friend’s wedding she completely lost it.  Everyone I am close to knows that I don’t want a bridal party but Mr. Pom and I are still discussing it and I’m leaving the final decision up to him.  Well, my friend decided to go a little crazy and “yell” at me over text messages saying that great, if it’s Mr. Pom’s decision then she won’t be in the wedding and she doesn’t understand why I’m not picking her to be the maid of honor.  Common sense, and some form of etiquette, would tell me that you should never ASK to be in a wedding…

Regardless, this is the type of situation I don’t care to be in and hence why I’d rather not get involved in the drama of picking people who I like more than other people.  Of course, when picking your wedding party memebers you already kind of have some people in mind, i.e. those folks you feel you can confide in and who have known you the longest as a couple, and then it comes down to numbers.  Do you just want one or two special people or do you want a procession that takes 5 minutes?

I JUST don’t understand why you’d want every person in attendance to be in your wedding party…thoughts?

Right now I’m in a bit of a wedding planning lull.  My law school semester has just started, Mr. Peach has graduated and received his MBA and started working and summer is slowly saying goodbye.  However, the past 72 hours have been wedding madness!!

So remember when I wrote about my bridesmaid dress change of heart? Well earlier in August, we travelled back to Priscilla of Boston to show my Aunt my wedding gown.  While there our AMAZING bridal consultant told me she had good news.   Priscilla would be coming out with a bright pink fabric for bridesmaid dresses this season!!!!!!!!  Bright pink was exactly what I wanted I just couldn’t find it.  Great.  She told me to touch base with her at the end of September when the full collection was in stores.  Fantastic right?

So this past Wednesday, news broke that David’s Bridal would be closing Priscilla of Boston.  I freaked.

Photo: weddingbee.com

After several freak out phone calls to Peachy Mom and Peachy MOH the news finally went online on Priscilla’s actual website.  In its released statement, Priscilla pledged to completed all orders already placed with them, all dresses would arrive in store before it closes on Dec. 31^st, but alterations would have to be the bride’s responsibility and done elsewhere.  Still not calm yet.

I kept reading for info on the bridesmaids.  I would need to place my order by Sept 12^th or potentially lose the deposits that my girls had already put down.  I needed to talk to someone.  So I not so calmly started calling the salon.

Photo: ehow.com

I got through to my bridal consultant, who told me the sooner I come in the better.  So Peachy Mom and I jumped into action and went to Priscilla the following day.

We spent a lot of time there talking with the women in the salon and how each of them were entirely shocked by the news. It was really sad to see such an amazing brand, incredible salon and dedicated staff have to suffer through this.

In the end I tried on a few bridesmaid dresses, sent pictures back and forth with Peachy MOH who was anxiously waiting at her desk and made a decision.  My girls will be wearing this dress…

Photo: Courtesy of  “I can’t believe this is happening” Me

I currently live in Texas but Mr. Cherry and I will be tying the knot in Media, Pennsylvania. We are so excited to be getting married where all of our family can be present. However, it has been very tough to plan things with out seeing them! I have been so blessed to have AN AMAZING Mother-In-Law (MIL) to-be! She has been so wonderful. The first task we had when planning the wedding was choosing where to hold our reception. With her help we selected the Townehouse in Media, Pennsylvania. (I plan on doing a post about how wonderful they are VERY soon! Amy at the Townehouse is fantastic!!) My MIL went to the venue and took great pictures for us to decide. When I tell people that I chose my venue without seeing it they are shocked! I probably would not have done this but I was lucky to have someone who knew me so well! My MIL knows exactly what I look for in things! (She did help him pick out my engagement ring as well!!)

One huge inconvenience I have had is that I am one hour behind all the places that I want to use for my wedding. This means when I finish work every place is closed! I find it hard to get in touch with people sometimes and have been continuously playing phone tag with a few vendors. I do not mind this at all- and understand the issue. However- just be prepared if you are planning a wedding where you will not have the luxury to go in person to meet your vendors. Most will have appointments around the time you call and you will mostly be emailing. I have had a few wonderful wedding party members make calls for me to save me some of the hassle!

The last issue that I have found is pricing. I have had some issues deciding if the pricing I am getting over the phone is good for the area. I have my photographer, florist and hopefully my hairdresser booked! I went on friends and families suggestions- and all did some research. It is just hard to be sure that you are getting the best price for your money. I think this is a struggle for any bride, no matter where they are getting married! What I have done to relive some of the worry is ask my self two simple questions “Do I feel I am getting the level of service for my money? Do I feel that that will do a fantastic job?” I can say yes to both of these questions without worrying about a thing.

I am sure I will run into more tips and such about planning a wedding cross country!! What tips do you have for me? What were your experiences?

Dear wedding guest who used invisible ink on your RSVP card, I wanted to personally thank you for adding on some stress to the already stressful process that is wedding planning!

How in the world am I supposed to know who is/is not coming when I sent out 70 RSVP cards? It could be anyone! Believe it or not, I’m not psychic, people!!

I had a feeling this would happen so I was prepared!  I created an easy  “tracking system” of numbering the back of every RSVP with a teeny, tiny number that corresponds with an excel spreadsheet to track who says ‘Yes’ and who says ‘No.’

See?

I highly recommend using a “tracking system” to save you a huge headache in the long run.

Because of it, I DO know who the ‘offender’ is, although I’m not mentioning names!

Did you use a tracking system? If so, did it work?

Shortly after arriving in Atlanta, Georgia for our layover we called the parents to check-in and let them know we were safe on the ground at least for awhile. That’s when my mother-in-law broke the news. Her morning Facebook browsing uncovered that our aunt, uncle and co. would be leaving on the same cruise with us the next day!

I was originally seriously pissed, and here’s why: the family joining us on the honeymoon hadn’t bothered to RSVP in anything close to an official manner and didn’t show up at our wedding… but they were going on our honeymoon!

{Our personal photo}

Having the family on the same cruise as we were for our honeymoon was not ideal, but it turned out to be much less annoying and obtrusive as I had expected. Since we had different interests and there were 5,500 other people on the ship as well, we only ran into them a handful of times. They were kind enough to realize that we wanted to be left alone but also  pitched in a little to one evening a little special by sending a bottle of wine to our dining table.

Crazy stuff is going to happen with your wedding/honeymoon and sometimes you just have to roll with it.

I can’t believe it’s been a year since Aladdin and I have been engaged! We opted for an extra long engagement, partially by choice, partially by necessity. Right before we got engaged, my wonderful future sister-in-law was proposed to. Unbeknownst to me, it is a Filipino superstition that two siblings cannot be married in the same year, which means Aladdin and I would have to default to 2012. Truthfully, I love being engaged – it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me! In retrospect, I’m thrilled that we’ve had so much time to truly map out the details and how we want this wedding to reflect us as a couple. With what seemed like ample time, I’m beginning to feel the tick..tock.. of the days flying by and our wedding nearing quickly. I’m relieved to say that we have had our venue for quite some time, so that has stress has been alleviated. We fell head over heels for  the Spanish architecture of the breathtaking Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables. Doesn’t it just transport you from the US to some European Villa?

Boy was I wrong!  It seems like lately the easiest part of all of this was finding Mr. Peach! I’m a perfectionist who is very detailed oriented, so every decision turns into a list of pros and cons, should I or shouldn’t I, is this right or wrong etc…  Choosing the bridal party wasn’t any different.  Mr. Peach knew how concerned I was with this decision and agreed to only ask his groomsmen once I decided who I was going to choose and how many bridesmaids I would end up with.  MOH was a no brainer, but after that things got harder.  I started with a list of contenders for the remaining spots.  If that list stood, my bridesmaids would have looked like this:

So I had to start really narrowing the list down which was very hard as like most brides want to include as many people as possible and not hurt people’s feelings.  Especially when those people are some of my closest friends who will know every detail about my wedding planning.  I asked Mr. Peach and Peachy Mom and Peachy MOH and all of them said-remember this is your wedding and your choice.  Your friends will understand and still will have a blast sharing this special time with you.  And they were right I guess, but that didn’t make this decision any easier for me.  So here’s how I made my decision:

I knew I wanted to have 4-6 girls in the bridal party (including Peachy MOH).  The next spot went to my cousin-easy.  That left 2-4 spots still open.  The next spot went to my other best friend from college whom I have been through a lot with, have lived with and really couldn’t imagine not having her there by my side.  This is really when things got hard for me and then I got really good advice from a fellow bride.  This bride said that the difference between a bridesmaid and a guest is that a bridesmaid is someone you want to see you with no makeup on when you wake up the morning of your wedding, someone who you cant imagine not being one of the first to see you put on your gown and most importantly someone who will be able to deal with you through all of the excitement, nerves and tears that come along throughout your wedding day before you even walk down the aisle.  After that, I decided to give the remaining two spots to my 2 best friends from high school who were there when Mr. Peach and I began our romance and who have seen me through some of the best and worst times in my life.

Closing the party after them was not an easy decision, but I finally feel settled into my bridal party handful.  Please tell me I wasn’t the only bride driving herself nuts though with this decision!

So we had our engagement pictures taken (finally) last week. First of all- let me just say that is was an absolute blast!!! Our photographers are amazing! But one of the most stressful things I had to do was decide what in the world Apricot Dude and I were going to wear! Let me share what we decided to go with, then provide some tips on how to pick and show you how they turned out!

I knew I wanted two different types of pictures. First, I wanted to do some more traditional, formal pictures that I know my Grandma would love. Secondly, I simply wanted some that were us. In jeans and comfy shirts, flip flops….just being ourselves! I was fortunate to find a dress for our more formal pictures that I LOVED. So I had one outfit down. Now onto number two- and I had no idea. I seriously think I bought 5 or 6 different shirts. I knew I wanted something solid, light colored and that sort of matched our wedding colors (peachy/corals/greens). Finally, I made a decision. Well, I thought I had. The day of our pictures, I had a few minutes to kill before my hair appointment so I ran into Banana Republic. Just browsing, I came across this fabulous shirt that I knew I wanted to wear for our pictures. It was like it was just calling for me! So I bought it and it turned out to be perfect!

Now for Apricot Dude….he was pretty open to basically whatever I thought would look nice. We settled on his favorite yellow button down shirt and khakis for our more formal pictures and jeans and polo for the others. It did take us quite a few stores to find a light green polo that we thought would look great with mine. (Quick word of advice: we found the EXACT same Tommy Hilfinger polo at TJMaxx for half the price of Macy’s!)

Here are a few tips that I have when looking for engagement outfits because there certainly are LOTS of decisions to make:

• I recommend solid colors; not stripes or prints. Sometimes stripes and prints are not friendly.
• Be yourself! Wear what you like…I LOVE flip flops so that’s what we wore!
• Coordinate, do not match each other. Too matchy matchy looks wrong.
• Make sure to iron, de-wrinkle, whatever you need to do to make your clothes look new
• Be comfy…don’t wear your tightest jeans so you can’t even move or the shoes that kill your feet. That isn’t a very fun couple of hours…
• Think ahead. We used bubbles (more on props in a later post) and spilled it all over Apricot Dude. But we had a towel handy to clean up….
• Wear jewelry that matches…if your engagement ring is white gold, don’t wear yellow gold jewelry and vice-versa.
• My opinion but don’t wear things that are dated (like summer scarves, leggings, etc) . You might regret it years from now when they aren’t in style. But then they’ll come back in style so maybe it will all work out!

I’m sure there are plenty more tips out there. What advice do you have for gals searching for their outfits?

Here’s how some of them turned out! My next posts will be about the use of props….because we used  A LOT of them!!

Pictures by Bh Photography

Pictures by Bh Photography

Pictures by Bh Photography

Hi Garden!

Remember me?

*sheepish look*

I’ve just been a little bit busy. And kind of feeling like this:

Is it our honeymoon yet?

I’m finishing up the end of the school year with my students, working on my Masters (and the class this session is super intense), still renovating our new house, and uh… not wedding planning.

We’ve had the house for five weeks now and I just realized that I haven’t done anything in terms of decisions since. Okay, that’s not quite true. We’ve ordered Mr. Magnolia’s wedding band! More on that later. But, I still haven’t talked to my florist. I still need to order ceremony programs. I still have a bunch of DIY stuff to do. And we still haven’t chosen a song. Or made a playlist for dance music. 45 days to go… but somehow none of this is stressing me out… I figure, it’ll get done. Right?

Time sure does fly when you’re NOT planning your very-soon-to-be wedding!

Anyone else fall off the planning boat, only to wake up and realize it’s time to sink or swim?

Indiebride is a blogger that I follow on Twitter and one day she shared this opinion piece by Peg Fisk that was featured in the New York Times. I suggest you give it a quick read before I go on.

…

OK. For those of you that didn’t read it, the gist of it is Ms. Fisk, who apparently is divorced, is sometimes invited without a guest to weddings. She rants about being the single person, sitting at the “loser” table, forced to make conversation with other singles. Halfway through the article I thought, “Jeeze, if you’re going to be bitter about it, don’t go to the wedding.”

I was relieved when I read the last paragraph.

“So whenever I get invited to a wedding and can’t bring a guest, I send a generous present, show up at the church and then go home to a nice glass of chardonnay. I toast the happy couple, and perhaps do my own version of the hokeypokey in my living room. ’Cause that’s what it’s all about.”

I see her point and don’t really disagree with her, but as someone who is planning a wedding this is a decision that we often agonize over. It’s not a decision we make without knowing that it will hurt some people. It’s not a decision that’s often made lightly.

I’ve been to some weddings that invited everyone with a guest regardless of their status. I’ve also been to weddings that didn’t invite guests with a plus one unless that you were married or engaged to that plus one.

Not for nothing but being that this woman lives in New York I can bet that adding a guest so she has someone to talk to would set the couple back a good $200. She does make this point in her piece, but it doesn’t sound like she’s really given the financial implications of inviting guests much thought. $200 per plus one can quickly add up. Just five additional guests adds another grand to the bill.

While our venue isn’t charging us $200 a plate, we decided to keep costs and our guest list down by only adding a plus one for guests who were already in long-term relationships. We also have a limit to the amount of guests our venue can hold so this was a way to keep our guest list down. We made an exception for one guest who wouldn’t know anyone at the wedding aside from Orchid Boy. The rest  of our single guests know enough other guests that finding someone to buddy up with shouldn’t be an issue. I think it is common courtesy to make an exception if your guest won’t know anyone else at the wedding, but you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite everyone with a guest if you can’t afford it.

I’ve told a few of our guests who are in causal relationships that once we find out how many No’s we have, we can open the party up to guests. For a planning bride and groom, this isn’t an easy decision. It’s often an awkward conversation and there is no way you’re going to make everyone happy. If money or space were no object, sure you can bring that guy from accounting that you’ve been chatting up in the lunch room, but money and space is often an object. A line has to be drawn and guests and children are often the first to go.

So, to be blunt, if you’re cranky about being invited sans guest do your friend a favor and check that little “No” box and stay home.

After about nine months of being incredibly unhappy with my day job, I put in my two weeks notice.

It will probably turn out to be the best and worst decision I make this year. I’m not completely unemployed though. I have started working as a tutor at the same tutoring center that Orchid Boy works at and I will have a fairly steady stream of writing assignments coming from the Raleigh Public Record and Long Beach Patch. I was recently sort-of promoted to covering the city government beat, so I’m guaranteed plenty of work.

Despite my employment if we thought we were broke before, we’re dead broke now. While there isn’t much left to sacrifice in our everyday lives, we’ve been going through the wedding budget like a scalpel happy surgeon. Even with our wedding there isn’t much left we can cut, but things are going.

We’ve canceled our second photographer and I canceled my manicure and pedicure. Though, once I put the word out to my friends that I was looking for volunteers to paint my nails, my wonderful friend, whom I’ve known since kindergarten, offered to treat me to some pampering. This is a very public thank you to her : )

I thought about returning the $80 shoes that I bought to just wear a pair that I already own, but I was talked into keeping them by my bridesmaids.

My plans to splurge on my bridesmaids have gone out the window, but I will continue with some low-cost ideas I’ve got floating around in my head. And unfortunately, our favor donation will have to be cut down as well.

We will no longer have North Carolina wine served as our signature drink and I wrote an awkward email to my cousin asking that the cake he’s making be his family’s wedding gift (Of course he said he wouldn’t have accepted my money, but I had to email anyway).

I’m OK with cutting back since none of these details really mattered to me. The only thing I wish I could still do is spoil my bridesmaids. They’ve been so, so wonderful and if I could, I would shower them with gifts. And while it’s not wedding related, the decrease in our funds also won’t allow me to spoil my new friece (Friend Niece. Daughter of one of your BFFs who isn’t your niece, but grows up calling you Aunt Whatever anyway), Alyssa Marie, who was born last month. YAY!!

With one of the biggest expenses of my life quickly heading toward me, it probably wasn’t a great idea to significantly cut my income, but from the moment that I gave notice, I’ve been so much happier. Orchid Boy has been endlessly supportive and reminds me that I made the right decision any time I have doubts. Like many moments in our marriage, things will be hard, but with enough support we’ll get through it.

Maybe that’s the best way to start a marriage. Things can only get better from here.

I think we picked crappy vendors. If you haven’t read about the photographer fiasco, check it out here. We are now having a slightly more minor issue with our DJ.

Lilac Dude has been handling Mr. DJ and just recently received an email basically saying this:

Dear Customer,

Per our discussion and as outlined in your contract, we will charge additional for travel out of our county when gas exceeds $3.00 per gallon. As it is nearly $4.00 we will be adding a $35 travel charge to all accounts. If you are paid in full already, we will bill you.

Thank you,

DJ

It wasn’t a bad email and it makes sense but here’s the problem: it was not discussed in our meeting (we even asked about travel fees!) and it is not in our contract. We checked twice. This email is the first we’d heard about travel fees so we were caught off guard. Oh yes, did I also mention that gas was above $3/gallon when we hired him?

Do our wedding vendors think that we’re stupid? Seriously, this is now the second contract issue we’ve had.

I have some very valuable advice that I cannot stress enough:

- Read your contract before signing

- Get a copy of your contract and keep it in a safe place

- Know your contract and hold your vendors to it

Contracts exist for a reason and thanks to the Lilac wedding, there are some vendors who are being kept to their promises.

Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to deal with breach of contract like we have.

Our RSVP deadline is tomorrow. Since we sent the invites, I think I have heard every excuse and scheme under the sun. It has not been a pretty six weeks. I’m not going to go into detail (this is not supposed to be a ranting blog, I had to remind myself), but I do want to share with you our numbers thus far.

Invited: 106

Accepts: 59

Accepts with condition*: 10

Regrets: 13

No answer: 20

Hmm. That makes me think of some of my guests!

*Okay. Let’s talk about the “accepts with condition”, shall we? Part of my family, some of my father’s cousins, have marked “accepts with pleasure” on their RSVP cards, which I received today. On Monday, however, while chatting on the phone with my aunt, it is mentioned that this “accepts with pleasure” is conditional to how their mother, my father’s aunt, feels on the day. She’s elderly and doesn’t have many “good” days. If she’s having a good day, then they would all love to come. But they’re all going — as in all 10 of them — if she’s well, or not coming — as in all 10 of them — if she’s not. Now, I understand that she’s not well. I sympathize. My Nonna isn’t well and she won’t be able to attend the wedding and that breaks my heart. But please. It’s a small wedding. A table of 10 in a small space matters. It isn’t a big 250 people wedding where a table more or a table less won’t make a difference. In an 80 or so people wedding, 10 people less is a lot less people. And it’s a lot less people to have to pay for if they don’t show up, because you can bet the venue is going to charge us if we say they’re coming but they don’t show up. What bothers me the most is that these people have all been married and know how weddings work. You can’t just RSVP a “conditional” yes! So… we’re going to have to call them and say they need to say a definite yes, or a definite no, because we have to let the venue know. That’s just how things work.

Also — 20 people with no replies, one day before the RSVP deadline? I’m guessing most will be regrets. We’ve been pretty surprised at the turnout of the RSVPs, to tell you the truth. People we were sure would be there are part of our regrets — for various reasons.  Like I said, it’s been a tough six weeks.

Do you have any “accepts with condition”? Or, have you had any surprises in your regrets?