You really won’t get far in this world without money. And somehow, things like honesty, loyalty, ambition, hard work, and compassion have come to mean less and less. Since money is so important in the world today, it makes perfect sense that the meshing of two people would be a little bit messy. Sure, we can promise to love each other for the rest of our lives, through sickness and health, that’s easy! But the money part? That’s a little harder.
Of all the many different aspects of our lives as independent human beings, I think that the one we want control over most is our financial situation. And that’s why it’s so incredibly difficult to join our finances with another person. If, God forbid, something were to happen to the relationship, money is really the biggest thing to worry about. How many couples getting a divorce end up going to court over money, the house, the furniture?? Our future outside of the relationship depends on the money that we make, and so we’ll fight tooth and nail to keep it. And we’re suddenly just expected to let go of all that? Let go of the ‘yours’ and ‘mine’ and change it to ‘ours’ just like that? Well, not just like that, but yes.
So the 16th was our first wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year– it seems like just yesterday! To celebrate, we did a couple of things. We had a nice dinner out at a local hotspot– I had scallops and grits, Plumeria Dude had roasted chicken and mac ‘n’ cheese.
In November, only two months after our engagement, Lilac Dude’s grandmother sadly passed away. When it came time to start cleaning out her house all of the family decided that they would rather give Lilac Dude and I everything we needed to start a home than sell it to strangers.
Hand-me-down furniture is great. We’ll start off with a couch, chairs, a kitchen table, a counter top convection oven and pretty much all of the “big things” for a new home together. Even though these items are used, they’re a huge blessing to have because they are all pretty expensive to purchase just after getting married. When we were going through things I realized that some of things you just need to get new, which alleviated my registry worries a little because I had been watching the list of things we need shrink, which isn’t bad but I did want our guests to have a selection of different things on the registry.
Lilac Dude just presented me with a clean pair of pants. At this point in time we both live in a dormitory and my dude lovingly washed my jeans that had sadly been bathed in a friend’s lemonade earlier in the day.
Something happened today that I am sure many of you can relate to. There I was, reading my email, when I saw something that made me giggle. What was it, you ask? An email from Periwinkle Dude…
Source: openclipart.org
Yes, Periwinkle Dude has a knack for making me laugh, but this was unintentional. In fact, the email wasn’t even addressed to me. The email was written to one of our wedding vendors, and the message was something to the effect of: “…further to my wife’s email below…“
As brides-to-be or newlyweds, I’m sure you’re aware that it is common to receive gifts for your engagement, bridal shower, and wedding. And we brides know that wherever gifts abound, thank you notes are sure to follow!
Source: www.esquire.com
According to Emily Post, wedding thank you notes should be sent within 3 months of receiving the gift. This was unfortunate news to me since I’ve always been a believer (and supporter!) of the common fallacy that couples have until their one year anniversary to both receive and send thank you notes for wedding gifts. Oooops! Here are some other tips from our favorite etiquette mentor, Emily Post:
Money is a very important issue that needs to be discussed when you’re getting married. Based on studies, money is one of the leading causes of divorce. John and I talked about how to handle our finances way before we even moved in together. We made sure we were on the same boat. We also made sure that all our debts are paid for before we got engaged.
There are three ways to handle your finances as a couple: joint, separate, and mixed (joint & separate). John and I decided that the mixed method is the best one for us.
They say you have a year to give a gift for a wedding, but that you should send Thank You’s within a month. What about Thank you notes for your vendors? Is prompt payment and a tip enough? We don’t think so, but unfortunately we’ve left our vendors un-thanked for almost six months. I was great about sending our guests thank you notes within 2-3 weeks of the wedding. For gifts received later, I usually sent the thank you card out the day we got the gift in the mail. We tracked all our gifts and when thank you notes were sent through the WeddingWire feature. But because I was so focused on thanking those that gave us something, our vendors got the short end of the stick. Then I was sending thank you notes for friends helping us move, for housewarming gifts, etc. I kept putting the vendor thank you notes off.
The year, months, weeks and then days leading up to our wedding honestly flew by so fast, I didn’t think I could ever lose time that quickly again. In a way it all seems like a distant blur, far back in my memory, yet somehow it also feels like just yesterday. In fact, our wedding was 6 months ago. That’s a whopping 183 “yesterdays” to be precise! That’s right, Periwinkle Dude and I have made it to the 6-month mark, woohoo! I know that’s no sweat to you old pros out there, but hey, we’re infants in the world of marriage… this is a milestone for us! When Periwinkle Dude and I married, we promised to love each other through all kinds of ups and downs, which comes in handy because we have already faced a few challenges in the past few months, and we’ve faced them together. And so for our 6 month anniversary, I dedicate this beautiful song to my husband, the love of my life.
UGH!!!! Please don’t assume that one partner will take another partner’s last name when they marry!!!!
from http://teriberi.wordpress.com/2009/04/
I have always known that I wanted to keep my name, and Calla Lily Dude is more than supportive about it. All my coworkers, friends, and family knew that I would be keeping my name.
I don’t mind it when people call me “Mrs. Dude.” I get a kick out of it when people call Calla Lily Dude “Mr. Blossom.” However, I ran into a major problem with someone assuming that I was taking the Dude last name….
So, designing my own beautiful wedding album went off without a hitch, and the album that was shipped within 1 day of placing an order, but it took over 2 weeks to get to me at no fault of Shutterfly…
Why, you ask? Because my apartment manager assumed I would be taking the Dude last name… and took it upon herself to not keep my last name on our mailbox directory. Apparently, UPS will not deliver a package to an address if the receiver is not listed on a posted directory. Good for UPS, bad for me!
It took a week and half of back-and-forth between me, my apartment manager, and UPS. I got the album delivered, but my last name has not been added to the mailbox directory yet…
So, the moral of the story is to be more up front whenever your name is concerned, whether you are changing or not. While people should not assume that you are going to change your name, you can’t assume that people are going to double-check with you about it either.
Source
I know that’s no sweat to you old pros out there, but hey, we’re infants in the world of marriage… this is a milestone for us! When Periwinkle Dude and I married, we promised to love each other through all kinds of ups and downs, which comes in handy because we have already faced a few challenges in the past few months, and we’ve faced them together. And so for our 6 month anniversary, I dedicate this beautiful song to my husband, the love of my life.
