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Violet Bud

Bridal Shower Woes

February 1st, 2013 by     

Recently, my amazing MOH has started doing some research for my shower. As all good planners do, she asked for a rough estimate of the guest list. I went to my mother and she and I compiled a list of people, all of whom have known me most of my life, are close friends, or relatives. Then, I asked my MIL for her guest list, which is where my etiquette conundrum began.

On the list she gave me, of the 40 people she wanted to invite, I had only ever met (and remembered meeting) 13 of them. Violet Dude informed me of a few relatives that were on the list that I met at a family reunion once, but I couldn’t pick them out in a line up if I tried.

I’m planning on calling my MIL and having the discussion with her about reducing her guest list. This is my reasoning:

1. The bridal shower should be people that know me, that I’ve met and that I don’t have to be reintroduced to at my own bridal shower.
2. It’s kind of rude to invite people, who haven’t met me before, especially because the shower is a gift giving occasion. I’d feel really uncomfortable receiving a gift from someone I’ve only met once or that I’ve never met.
3. Her guest list is almost as large as my mom’s and mine combined. (We both have around 22, so it’s 44 combined) I have a problem with this, since it is MY shower and Violet Dude won’t be there.
4. I think having 80 some guests is a little overwhelming for a shower. I know some of you are planning weddings that aren’t even that big! But, I don’t want to have two showers because finding time for us to have one is going to be stressful enough.
5. The day should be about me, my friends and my family. I have become close to Violet Dude’s family as well, and I’d like to invite the ones I have become close to, but I’m relatively sure that his second cousin probably doesn’t want to come to my shower any more than I want her to be there. The wedding is a different story completely.

So, Garden, what do you think? Am I being a bridezilla? Should I just give in and let her invite all 40? Or, does etiquette dictate that I’m making the right choice?

3 Responses to “Bridal Shower Woes”

  1. Dee McBee Says:

    Hello, remember that etiquette would say that whomever is invited to your shower should also be invited to your Wedding. Are you and your fiance (and your family) ok with that?

  2. Lauren Says:

    I think it depends on the type of family you are entering into. If they are going to be offended by not being invited, I would let it happen and look at it as a way to meet your future family and get some awesome presents from your registry.
    On the other hand , it is your wedding shower. If you feel like it would be really awkward to have 40 people there and no one cares either way, then reduce!

  3. Morning Glory Blossom Says:

    I think it would be a nice gesture to invite family members that you might have only met once or have never met, but when the guest list doubles I think it’s a little much. Your bridesmaids are not made of money and making food and favors along with prizes for shower games can be costly and it is not fair to them. I didn’t invite my whole female guest list from the wedding because I thought it was extremely awkward to host people I barely knew. I would gently give a few reasons to FMIL and explain that you are not comfortable with so many people. I’m sure she will understand!

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