Wedding Aces WeddingWire Blog
Lilac Blossom

From a Bride to a Wife

May 17th, 2012 by     


Dear Garden,

I started writing for Bridal Buds way back in January of 2010. I chronicled a journey of wedding plans, hassles, projects and finally showed you photographic evidence that the Lilacs had indeed tied the knot in more than 125 posts. I also shared with you the beginning trials of our marriage. I had planned to share thoughts looking back at our engagement, wedding and now a whole year of marriage. But life has done what it does best, it takes you forward into your future and often doesn’t leave time for writing about it.

I have recently abandoned drafts on some pretty important topics, so let me share just a few thoughts with you before I say a not-so-final goodbye.

  • Life changes when you decide to share it completely with another person. You become a different person, whether or not you change your name, you get a shared identity. It can be stressful, but when you’ve tied your life to the life of an amazing man, it’s wonderful.
  • You make adjustments. We didn’t live together before we got married, so not only did combine our things, we combined our lifestyles and learned how to share in a much bigger way than you did in preschool. Shopping lists, finances, home decorating and traditions merge together with some bumps along the way. The way they all come together is what gives your new family a unique identity.

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  • You choose who you are and who you’re becoming as a couple. You make the decisions of where to live, what to do on holidays and when (or if) to have children. Don’t let a single other person tell you what you should be doing when it comes to those things. Your families and friends should be there to offer support and solicited advice… not guidelines or pressure.
  • Parents are awesome. They’ve invested their time, money and emotions into you. Don’t forget to thank them and value your time with them. I know better than anyone that when you no longer have them in your life, it’s hard. We got our wedding album and I can’t show it to one person who would really appreciate it. My dad. I am thankful that he was able to walk me down the aisle and see me marry the man of my dreams. Since he passed away, so many things have happened that I wish he’d have been able to see. Knowing that dad would like or approve of the house we’re buying and that he’d be proud of my career advancement is nice, but it’d mean more if he could have been a part of it all.

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  • Our wedding was amazing, but was not perfect by any means. Some things went wrong. But I really only have one regret. Our wedding wasn’t recorded. If I did it again, I wouldn’t hire a videographer, but I would have made solid, 100% definite plans to have someone set up a video camera in the balcony of the church. That should have never been left to chance. We have an audio recording and little video captures of walking down the aisle,exiting the church, our first dance and cutting the cake. But I wish we had a video of saying our vows. Make those plans and confirm them, I wish I had.

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Writing the Lilac wedding story helped me share advice, get perspective and talk about the journey that meant so much to me. There are a ton more things that I would love to share with you all, but life does not allow me the time to write them.

Weddings in general hold a special place in my heart. The profession of love and commitment is touching. I’ve been lucky to share in other couple’s days as a guest, as a bridesmaid and a maid of honor. Now I’m on the other side of things. My husband and I enthusiastically partake in the anniversary dance and I have the pleasure of being a Matron of Honor in my friend Violet Bud‘s wedding (hence the not-so-final goodbye).

Best wishes to all of you buds, in planning a wedding and enjoying a loving marriage.

Love,

Lilac Blossom

All pictures in the post are by Chatman Photography

5 Responses to “From a Bride to a Wife”

  1. Ashley Says:

    Thanks!!! Amazingly beautiful!!

  2. Gerald Williams Sr Says:

    Normally my thoughts and comments are geared towards those in the videographic community, since I am a professional videographer. But, after reading the article mention my attention peak at this former brides words in regretting not having her wedding recorded, what really amazed me was in her acknowledgment in that she would not have hired a professional videographer, but (in her own words) “have made solid, 100% definite plans to have someone set up a video camera in …..”. It always amazes me as to the amount of detail, be it creative and financially given in the pursue of events who long term investments consist of nothing more than beautiful memories and emotions and please understand I am in no way degrading anyone’s wedding themes or concepts or energy geared in its visual and emotional enhancement of anyone’s special day. I see so much emphasis (time/money) on fulfilling a brides vision and relegating the recording of that to nothing more than an afterthought. When it’s all said and done the only memories in the bride/groom’s special moments or the intricate details of their wedding cake, or the flow of a flower girls dress, or the smile of great parents and what about that first kiss? Those moments are forever in the numerous photographs taken by a professional photographer (your own website testifies to that) yet I remember some mother’s coming back to me with wishes that they have a professional recording to listen and view. I also remember how we recorded an excitable old man who dance most of the evening only to hear that he had passed away a few weeks after his granddaughter’s wedding (I had not found out till after the couple’s initial review). I heard that his wife was brought to tears after watching the video, she was truly happy seeing him so alive with energy. I guess what I’m trying to instill in some minds that a professional videographer should at least be on par with a professional photographer. Overall sound advice, but again just my thoughts

  3. It's The Bride In Me – From a Bride to a Wife | BridalBuds – Bridal Buds Says:

    [...] thoughts looking back at our engagement, wedding and now a whole year of marriage . View post: From a Bride to a Wife | BridalBuds – Bridal Buds Orlaith & Steve (Part 2) » Ronan Palliser PhotographyTips for choosing an officiant for your [...]

     
  4. Lilac Blossom Says:

    Clearly based on your profession, Gerald, you are quite biased. I would not have spent a cent on a videographer even though I regret not having a video of our wedding. There are brides, like myself, with the skills to turn a simple video or in my case audio and pictures, into a nice memento. Not all brides have the same priorities I do and would want to hire a videographer, however not everyone has the same viewpoint as you. In my opinion, videography and photography serve completely different purposes. There are two aspects of our wedding that will remain with us forever, our rings and our photos. We have proudly displayed wedding portraits in our home, offices, on social media, given them as gifts to parents and grandparents and used them in many places. A video would be watched occasionally by us and maybe our parents. But photos can be seen and appreciated by anyone for a much briefer period of time than video. So no, not on par with a professional photographer. A nice addition if you have the budget. But that’s entirely my opinion, as a bride, wife and blogger.

  5. Siciliawedding Says:

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    Also we write blogs every week and post every day. Our new blog is on- types of brides and suitable weddingthemes. Get inspired!

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