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Pear Bud

Who Shall Save-the-Date?

March 20th, 2012 by     


When our wedding first came about, John and I had differing views of what size the event should be. I never wanted a gigantic wedding by any means, but I also wanted to make sure I invited all of my dear friends who are in my present and were from my past. I thought I would want to invite some old high school friends and teachers, as well as friends from college. John, however, was not stoked on the idea of having so many random (to him) people coming to our wedding. Neither John nor I are keen on being the center of attention, and in John’s eyes, a large wedding sounded completely uncomfortable. To me, I remembered thinking of when I was young and couldn’t wait to have basically every person I ever cared about in my life to be a part of wedding celebration. I guess I wanted a big wedding by default. This created friction in how we approached the subject of the guest list.

Time went on. My thought process changed, luckily for John. As you begin to plan your wedding more, you begin to see that there are certain ways of thinking of your wedding that don’t apply to when you’re about to have one. I realized that there are so many of those people who I thought I wanted to invite that I have not kept in touch with nor heard from in several years. It really had me thinking of what it would look like to have a wedding filled with guests with whom I didn’t really know anymore. And if I was going to be busy catching up on several years with these people, I would miss my entire wedding reception.Of course, there is something to be said about reuniting with people from our past and how these occasions are perfect for bringing reunion about. I absolutely believe that. I also know for a fact that our budget is minuscule, so it’s difficult to squeeze all of those bodies into our money waistline.Every person invited is more money spent. Realistically. This may be tactless to say, but it just so happens to be a fact.

Since we will be having our reception in our little backyard, our guest list needs to be little as well. We are hoping to dwindle it down from 150 people to about 60. Family and really close friends will be invited. Within those groups of people, there are a few that we have questioned inviting.

The reason is this: we barely see them. We would love to open our backyard up to everyone, but we simply cannot. Now, we must become picky invite-ers, which is all too much to our dismay.

Along with not liking to be the center or attention, John and I are not very confrontational as well. We want this thing to go off without a hitch (i.e. drama and unnecessary awkwardness for the wedding, but also after it’s all said and done). How do we tactfully not invite people we simply don’t have the room for?

Our plan is to send a wedding announcement to those we don’t invite because of space.

This way, the people we are not able to invite are still in the loop and are hopefully pleased that we thought of them. That’s the thing about weddings – it is so easy to offend people in so many different ways during the process. Sometimes I think that we become so worried about not offending anyone that we forget that it is our wedding. It should be you and your fiance that you worry about being happy, not every one else.

Since we are shelling out the cash, I feel like it is our choice what we do with it. I am excited to have an intimate wedding with our really close friends and family. And that will make for a marvelous celebration… no matter how small it may be.

Happy planning! Here’s a preview of our save-the-date that I will talk about soon.

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One Response to “Who Shall Save-the-Date?”

  1. April Says:

    I’m facing the same issues and agree with the points you made! Great post!

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