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The +1 Debate

March 26th, 2012 by     


I’m sure EVERY bud on here has come across this problem…. The dreaded +1 debate.

MG Bear and I had quite a hard time dwindling down the guest list to 130 people. We started out at 180 and managed to get down to about 135. If it were up to my parents and they had unlimited amounts of money, we would probably be inviting 200+ people. Unfortunately in the real world,  it doesn’t really work that way.

One way we were able to cut down the list was to eliminate +1’s. People who didn’t have serious girlfriends/boyfriends or fiance’s at the time are unable to bring a date. They weren’t informed of this unless they asked. It’s a difficult situation especially when now, four months later, they are serious with someone. So, how to approach it? MG Bear doesn’t even know etiquette when it comes to this because when we first started dating he tried to tell me he was going to a wedding and would probably be able to bring me. I automatically said “Did your invitation say ‘MG Bear and Guest’?” and he tried to argue with me and say it didn’t matter. Men, I swear!

I guess we can call this “the calm before the storm” or just hope that no one gets upset about our decision. We are hoping we don’t have to make phone calls when someone RSVP’s that they are bringing a date when their invite is addressed to “Mr. So-and-So.” The planning for me has been too easy, so I’m waiting for something to stress me out wedding wedding stress wedding planning wedding invitation ways to save etiquette advice , icon smile

Has anyone had to deal with the +1 debate? If so, how did your guests react?

2 Responses to “The +1 Debate”

  1. Poinsettia Bud Says:

    I think everyone planning their wedding has this issue so you are not alone!:) For us, my groom had two friends ask the DAY BEFORE the wedding if they could bring their “now serious” significant others. My groom kindly told them no because our numbers are set and the guarantees have been sent to our vendors. One friend said he understood and the other didn’t show up to the wedding because of it! Can you believe that?

    The +1 debate is such a sensitive debate but at the end of the day, if your friends don’t understand, they aren’t good friends to begin with!

  2. Morning Glory Bud Says:

    I agree with that! I was in a wedding (which was a very elegant/Pricey) where a guest TOLD the bride and groom that he was bringing his girlfriend even though she wasn’t invited. That was messy, and something I don’t want to deal with!

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