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Violet Bud

My Number Problem

January 19th, 2012 by     

When I was in high school (5 years ago) I had a group of girlfriends that I swore up and down I would be best friends with forever. We were inseperable. Now, 5 years later it’s definitely changed. Between going off to college, jobs, and changes in lifestyles, I’m only still close friends with one of those girls. Now, I’m not the social butterfly of the world, by any means, but I’m also not unfriendly. The college that I went to was a commuter college, and I was a commuter myself, which made it difficult to make and keep friends.

Fast forward to today…when I’m trying to plan my wedding and I only have two female friends that I consider close enough to be bridesmaids. All of my other friends are either boys or I’m just not close enough to them to feel comfortable asking them to be in my wedding. Now, I would be completely fine having only two bridesmaids, except for the fact that Violet dude has about 5 guys in mind for groomsmen. This creates a bit of a number problem.

I am beginning grad school on Tuesday, and the way that my program is scheduled, I will be with the same 40 people every day for the next 3 years. I’m sure that I’ll make some close female friends in that time, and because our wedding is still 19 months away, I still have time to become close enough to some of them to make them bridesmaids.

But, here is where my problem lies. I will only have known these girls for about a year before I have to decide if I want them to be in my wedding. I’m terrified that I will look back in 30 years and regret my decision to ask someone who I had only known a short amount of time to be in my wedding. On the other hand, I have some other friends who I have known for a little while longer but who I’m not as close with who I could also ask. It’s a tough decision, and I’m coming to the garden for help.

Were you in a similar situation when you chose your bridesmaids? How did you deal with this? For those of you who are already married, have you looked back and regretted your decisions? Is it better to have a friend you haven’t known that long in your wedding, or is it better to have friends who you have known longer but aren’t as close with? Or, should I just swallow my pride and have 2 bridesmaids while Violet dude has 5 groomsmen?


4 Responses to “My Number Problem”

  1. Jin Says:

    Hey there! My boyfriend and I have been discussing this same issue regarding our future wedding, and we’ve decided on what we want to do. I don’t really have any close girlfriends at all (just 2 sisters), and we have 5 guys (1 brother, 4 friends) who we’d like to include in the wedding. Instead of the traditional guys on the grooms side, and girls on the brides side, we’re going to mix it up. On my side will stand one groomsmen, one of my sisters, and then another groomsmen. On his side will be the same: his brother, one of my sisters, and then another groomsmen. The 5th groomsman will be handling the music for the ceremony while also being part of the bridal party. I’m really excited about this set up since it will feel less like “his” and “hers” and more like “ours”. Good luck with finding a solution that fits you!

  2. Dee Says:

    I am in a similar situation. I have three bridesmaids (two friends and my fiance’s sister) and my fiance has like 7 or 8 guys on his side (still don’t have his finalized list!) I have debated for awhile on asking two girls that are good friends, but I just don’t feel right about it. I think it’s much better to have those who are truely important to you be in your wedding. Our sides are going to look very uneven, but that’s ok!

  3. Morning Glory Bud Says:

    I have a friend who actually didn’t want to deal with any of the drama that comes along with having bridesmaids and groomsmen so they are not having a bridal party at all. The only part she hates about that is there isn’t the fun getting ready before the wedding stuff. I have been in weddings where the bridal party wasn’t even and it only “looked funny” during the ceremony, which for some people (like me) is only 30 min long at most anyway! I would say stick with who you all both want and keep it uneven! It’s all about who will be by your side in the long run.

  4. Heather Says:

    We have the same problem, but the other way around. I have my sister, my 2 best friends, and his two sisters. He has…his 2 brother in laws and his best friend. So he added his dad and his uncle to his side. Do you have any female relatives you are close with?

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