January 19th, 2012 by Violet Bud
When I was in high school (5 years ago) I had a group of girlfriends that I swore up and down I would be best friends with forever. We were inseperable. Now, 5 years later it’s definitely changed. Between going off to college, jobs, and changes in lifestyles, I’m only still close friends with one of those girls. Now, I’m not the social butterfly of the world, by any means, but I’m also not unfriendly. The college that I went to was a commuter college, and I was a commuter myself, which made it difficult to make and keep friends.
Fast forward to today…when I’m trying to plan my wedding and I only have two female friends that I consider close enough to be bridesmaids. All of my other friends are either boys or I’m just not close enough to them to feel comfortable asking them to be in my wedding. Now, I would be completely fine having only two bridesmaids, except for the fact that Violet dude has about 5 guys in mind for groomsmen. This creates a bit of a number problem.
I am beginning grad school on Tuesday, and the way that my program is scheduled, I will be with the same 40 people every day for the next 3 years. I’m sure that I’ll make some close female friends in that time, and because our wedding is still 19 months away, I still have time to become close enough to some of them to make them bridesmaids.
But, here is where my problem lies. I will only have known these girls for about a year before I have to decide if I want them to be in my wedding. I’m terrified that I will look back in 30 years and regret my decision to ask someone who I had only known a short amount of time to be in my wedding. On the other hand, I have some other friends who I have known for a little while longer but who I’m not as close with who I could also ask. It’s a tough decision, and I’m coming to the garden for help.
Were you in a similar situation when you chose your bridesmaids? How did you deal with this? For those of you who are already married, have you looked back and regretted your decisions? Is it better to have a friend you haven’t known that long in your wedding, or is it better to have friends who you have known longer but aren’t as close with? Or, should I just swallow my pride and have 2 bridesmaids while Violet dude has 5 groomsmen?