Wedding Aces WeddingWire Blog

Favors for a Cause

February 21st, 2011 by     

Early in my planning process, I decided that we weren’t going to have favors. As much as I love how personalized favors can be, I wanted ours to be “more” than just little gifts for our guests to bring home. I wanted it to mean something.

My Nonna has advanced Alzheimer’s disease. It’s in its final stages: she now doesn’t recognize anyone, isn’t able to follow or contribute to a conversation, needs help to bathe, go to the washroom, and eat. She needs round the clock care, and has been placed in a nursing home for the past three years because of this. It breaks my heart, but we can’t have my Nonna attend the wedding. She is afraid to leave the nursing home, and this wedding – all the people, the different place, the duration of it – would be too much for her.

My Nonna and I, Dec 08

This decision brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. My Nonna and I used to dream of my wedding since I was a little girl. She couldn’t wait to see me get married. And as I plan my big day, I can’t help but think about how much my Nonna would have loved my dress – the princess dress. About how much she would have adored our reception venue for exactly the reasons I love it – its so Victorian and elegant. I can’t help but think about how unfair it is that when I talk to her, she doesn’t see me, doesn’t recognize me, her first grandchild. I can’t help but think about how much she would have loved this wedding, how much she would have immersed herself in helping me plan it, and how much she would have enjoyed it. I feel as though she was robbed of that — she’s here, physically here… but mentally, she’s not.

In lieu of favors, we are donating to the Alzheimer’s Society of Canada, for research for a cure for this terrible disease.

Have you considered favors for a cause?

6 Responses to “Favors for a Cause”

  1. Rose bud Says:

    I think that’s a fantastic idea. Most of the time when I get favors I end up trashing it because I have no use for it. I’m planning to do something similar but for charity: water (a nonprofit that is developing clean water sources for third world countries). You should definitely do something like that! I think your contribution will be more useful then normal favors.

  2. Magnolia Bud Says:

    I really like your water charity idea. Wedding favors are such “easy” things to “give up” and give to charity instead!

  3. Orchid Bud Says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Nonna. I wish I could offer any other words of comfort, but I can’t even imagine what you are going through. I think that’s a wonderful way to honor her.

    The only favors that I’ve actually used are the glass coasters my friend gave for hers. She made me take like 4 boxes and I thought, “what the hell am I going to use these for?” Well, honestly, I use them for everything. But, that’s an exception to the rule lol.

  4. Cymbie Bud Says:

    If I can convince my fiance and his mom, then I still want to donate to a charity. For us it would either be something associated with breast cancer as his mom is a survivor or Wish Upon a Wedding. I love that you found a cause that is so dear to your heart. I’m sorry to hear about your Nonna.

  5. Tweets that mention Favors for a Cause | BridalBuds -- Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Josie Schmolke, Trapit. Trapit said: Favors for a Cause #wedding […]

  6. The “Conditional” Yes. | BridalBuds Says:

    […] 10 of them — if she’s not. Now, I understand that she’s not well. I sympathize. My Nonna isn’t well and she won’t be able to attend the wedding and that breaks my heart. But please. It’s a small wedding. A table of 10 in a small space […]