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I Thought I Knew What I Wanted |
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July 22nd, 2010 by Dahlia Bud
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And, honestly, I had absolutely no idea. Let me back track. Recently (as in 7-10-10) I attended the wedding of the daughter of a close family friend of Dahlia Dude’s. I’d only met the bride and groom once before at a Christmas party, but they were gracious enough to invite me (which was amazingly kind of them, especially since Dahlia Dude hadn’t announced our engagement to them yet). Anyway, they had an absolutely beautiful church wedding with a semi-formal dinner reception afterwards. It was sooooooo much fun, and absolutely gorgeous! And WOW, did the bride look amazing!!! And, somewhat surprisingly, I actually had an epiphany about my own wedding.
When Dahlia Dude first popped the question, we began thinking about what kind of wedding we wanted to have. My mind went straight to the big, white, elegant church wedding. I could just picture it. But as I started to put these plans together, I slowly began realizing that a wedding was between two people, and this meant combining two ideas. And so, after literally forcing Dahlia Dude to tell me what he wanted in a wedding (seriously, forced him – all he said at first was “I’m happy as long as you’re there!”), we began to throw our ideas together.
I’ll admit to you ladies that I honestly was a little upset that I had to change my idea. I love Dahlia Dude, so I was willing to share his vision of our wedding, but I can’t say that I was exactly happy about it. So I changed, and our wedding evolved. And I, not exactly gracefully, dealt with it. And then we went to this wedding. And it was everything that I’d always dreamed of: the bride in her big white dress, the huge bridal party, the gorgeous church, everything. It was beautiful. And you know what? It was so…totally…not me. That’s really the only way I know how to put it. Now, don’t get me wrong, it was absolutely lovely. And we had a blast at the reception. But, I’m…unique. And I didn’t want my wedding to be like every other wedding that I’d ever been to.
So I realized something about myself. Well, a few things. First of all, I’m very glad that Dahlia Dude caused me to change my mind about our initial plan for the wedding. Rather than a black-tie affair, we’re having a low-key event. One that will make my comfort-cootie side much happier. I don’t even have to wear heels! I also learned that what we think we want, isn’t always what we really want. My mind has been completely changed by Dahlia Dude, and, if he hadn’t, I would have most likely ended up with a wedding day that would have underwhelmed me. And, I mean, who wants their wedding day to underwhelm them?
Moral of the story, kids, listen to your significant other. Honestly, I never thought that anyone would ever know me better than I know myself, but, as cliché as it is, I’m starting to realize that Dahlia Dude does. So, did anyone change your mind about your wedding? Were they right?
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Categories: Wedding Planning |
3 Comments |
July 22nd, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I know exactly how you feel! As I plan, people put different ideas into my head, and as these ideas pile up I start thinking I “need” this or we “need” that. In reality, my first vision of a small, elegant but simple wedding for two is so much closer to what we really want. Like you said: its about the joining of the couple, not the dress or the venue or the food.
Stay strong Dahlia Bud!
July 23rd, 2010 at 9:09 am
I agree with you 100%! Thank you for giving such a great example about listening to our partner. It is so important to have them involved in the wedding too, of course!
January 27th, 2011 at 6:15 pm
My guy also said, since before we were engaged, “you get to do whatever you want – it’s your day!” But as his friends are starting to get married (and some of the couples paying for and planning all of their own weddings themselves, whereas we are getting a lot of help from my parents), he started hearing about planning experiences and realizing he had a lot of ideas and feelings about how things should be. It was a bit tense when my mom and I met with some vendors without him and he started to feel left out. Luckily, he’s checked our research and choices and realized he agrees with all of them, but it’s funny how boys THINK they don’t care what happens on wedding day before the planning starts!
(P.S. Dahlia Bud, I see you’re a young bride with connected Notre Dame – me too! I’m 21 and just graduated in May, but I’m not in South Bend anymore. But it’s fun to find a kindred spirit!)