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An Ugly Truth… |
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November 3rd, 2009 by Snapdragon Blossom
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I have to get this out there: Lately I am kind of dreading my own wedding.
From www.adamzyglis.com/magazine6.html
There, I said it. The ugly truth is out there. Do you hate me for it? Am I the only one to ever feel this way? Admitting this feels somehow shameful, like I am letting you all in on a big ugly secret. Any advice or suggestions to get through this wedding planning bump in the road are certainly appreciated.
What’s really doing me in are my anxieties and my expect-the-worst-scenario nature which are really getting the best of me. A summary of my worries:
I am worried that no one will dance.
I am worried I am picking the wrong vendors (DJ, photographer, flowers, etc.)
I am worried that everything will fall apart and everyone will point fingers at me and call me a bad person/wedding planner.
I am worried that my family and Snapdragon Dude’s family won’t find the middle ground to come together and have a good time.
I am worried that I will trip and fall while walking down the grassy aisle.
I am worried that I am making people travel a long distance for something they don’t really want to go to.
I am worried that it will suck.
I am worried no one will like to food (and not having a chance to do a pre-tasting doesn’t help that worry)
I am worried I won’t look my best (humidity + Snapdragon bud’s Hair = NOOOO!)
I am worried we won’t get the wording of the ceremony right, or people will think it’s cheesy.
I am worried Snapdragon Dude will regret that I talked him into this type of wedding.
I am worried that we will be so busy feeling the need to host all our guests and meeting their needs that we will not be able to focus on the importance of what we are doing for each other, you know, getting married.
Should I just cancel the whole thing and call it a day? I don’t think that’s the answer, because I do believe in my heart that I can make this work. I am just in the weeds right now and at some point the puzzle pieces will join and the day will be beautiful and exactly what I wanted, or at least mostly so.
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Categories: Wedding Planning, Wedding Stress |
5 Comments |
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:28 am
Ok, so I think this list of worries should be called “The Official Bridal Buds Bridal Worry List – 2009/2010 Edition” – because that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been worried about!! I’ve been talking my family’s and my friends’ ears off, and luckily, they’ve had some great advice for me, so I’m gonna give it to you now – hopefully it will help with at least some of it!! (This is about to be a really long comment, by the way)
Dancing: Ask a few of your bridesmaids/other close girlfriends who love to dance to be your “dance captains” – ask them to watch for times when the dance floor is getting light, and go out and dance and grab a few other wedding guests on the way – it’s amazing how quickly that can get the party started!
Vendors: Sadly, more than likely, one of your vendors will fall slightly below your 100% expectation level. But I can promise you this – that isn’t going to matter at the end of the day to you and your new husband. Plus, my married friends tell me that the things that go wrong usually provide the best and funniest stores for years to come.
Pointing fingers: Anyone who loves you enough to come to your wedding also loves you enough not to point fingers at you and call you a bad person! And if you are worried about any particular person doing that, they probably shouldn’t be invited to your wedding!
Middle ground: I think this is a concern for almost every bride. Rest assured that by the time you get to the wedding, everyone will be so relaxed and happy for you that everything will go fine. And if not, find someone to drag them all on the dance floor and do the Electric Slide together!
Tripping: I am walking down 3 flights of stairs (in front of our guests) to get to our ceremony, and I have told my father that his ONLY job is making sure I don’t trip and fall – I’ll be hanging on to him for dear life!
Long distances: Trust me – people don’t do things they don’t want to do. If they come to your wedding, it’s because they want to. Plus, who doesn’t love a reason to go to Florida??
Sucking: It won’t. You’re putting so much time and energy into this, there’s NO WAY it will suck. Impossible!
Bad food: Here’s what I have learned about wedding food: by and large, it’s all terrible. That’s not to say that your food will be too, but if it is, know that people do not come to weddings with high expectations for food. If your food is AWESOME (which I’m sure it will be – catering companies don’t stay in business if they don’t serve good food!) then it will just be a pleasant surprise!
Looking your best: Are you getting your hair professionally done? Let them know that humidity is not your friend, and they’ll take care of it! Hair dressers are miracle workers.
Ceremony: All wedding ceremonies are at least 10% cheesy. I think it’s required by law. No one will think that’s a bad thing – those are the parts that will make everyone say “Awwwww!!”
Snapdragon Dude: Something tells me that Snapdragon Dude just wants to be married to you. I doubt he cares that much how it happens!
Hosting: This is actually still a big worry of mine. It’s in my nature to worry about people and want to make sure they’re doing ok, so I know it will be a struggle for me to make sure I take care of myself and my Dude at my wedding. I’m coming up with a list of “hosting duties” (greeting guests, checking on grandparents, etc) and I’m assigning those tasks to individual people.
Ok, so I know that’s ridiculously long… but hopefully some of it will have a ring of truth with you!! Rest assured that we’ve ALL been there. Just relax, and ask your Dude to give you a back rub – that always makes things better
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 am
Wow…..I think it helps just to have that list written down, where you can more rationally think about things individually….. Thank you so much for writing that list. My wedding isn’t until next summer and I too am already worried about pretty much the same stuff….I just didn’t know it could be explained so easily…..it always seems more complicated in my head!!!
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I think we all have these feelings at some time during the wedding planning process. I even had nightmares. You cannot control everything, but you can control how you react to everything. But, through it all, you have to remember that no matter what happens leading up to and on your wedding day, in the end the marriage is the most important part and NOT the wedding.
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Wow – great advice above! I agree with all of it. You will be fine, your wedding will be wonderful, and you and all your guests will have a blast!
November 4th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Friends and fellow Buds–
THANK YOU so much for your support and advice! I really appreciate the time and effort to respond to my cry for help! Just purging myself of these worries “on paper” (or virtually so) has lifted a weight off my shoulders and shown me how silly some of my fears really are. I also opened up to my Dude about some of these worries (since he doesn’t read the blog), and he was nothing but warm and supportive– exactly why I am choosing to marry him! Again… I just wanted to tell you the feedback really helped. The wedding is still on!