Wedding Aces WeddingWire Blog

A Breakdown in Communication

March 8th, 2009 by     

Any good piece of wedding advice that I have gotten so far has included talking to your partner about wedding-related stuff and making important decisions together. I mean, how hard can it be to talk to each other?

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I thought I was doing pretty good at keeping the communication lines open between me and Calla Lily Dude even though he doesn’t really want to be involved in wedding planning (by his own admission). For all the talking that Calla Lily Dude and I have done pouring over wedding decisions, I realized that our communication is not as free flowing as I had thought… Here is a prime example:

When considering flowers vs. no flowers, we talked about it and he said he was fine either way but that he didn’t think flowers were necessary and, with my allergies, would be more trouble than they are worth. I totally agreed and we talked about silk flowers.

When I found the handcrafted copper flowers that we ended up going with from The Welded Garden, I was ecstatic. But because we had to pay in full before our order was even be started, I wanted to make sure he was comfortable with the idea of flowers, so I asked if he would be willing to wear a boutonniere. He said yes.

When the corsage/boutonniere set arrived, I was so excited. When I asked if he wanted to see his boutonniere, he said, “I don’t know what that is.”

You should have seen the look of shock (almost horror) on my face! I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t actually know what a boutonniere was, I was shocked that he had agreed to wear one and didn’t bother asking me about it if he didn’t know. For all he knew, a boutonniere could have been a top hat!

photo from


The moral of the story? Communication is a two-way street. I have to remind myself that Calla Lily Dude might not know all the wedding jargon that I do (I found out that he didn’t know what engagement pictures were-and he waited until the week before our photo shoot to ask!). I can’t make assumptions about what he does and does not know.

Of course, we had to talk about this. Let’s hope that the lines of communication stay open and he asks questions when he is unsure about something.

Anyone else in BridalBud-land experiencing a breakdown in communication while wedding planning?

4 Responses to “A Breakdown in Communication”

  1. Poppy Blossom Says:

    This story is HILARIOUS and shows that sometimes you really have to start at the basics with your Dude. :)

  2. Barbara Says:

    My fiance has so many of his own dreams about our wedding, that he is full out a part of every wedding decision. And we are like that – we really do make all our decisions together.

    Which is why I REALLY wanted his help (er… advice), choosing my bridesmaids because I was having such a difficult time. I really needed a sounding board. That is the one thing he really AVOIDED talking about! He kept saying it was my decision, and I know my relationships with my friends better than he does. How frustrating!

    The good side is, once I talked to my maid of honor a few times and kept reporting back to him about our discussions, he eventually came around and asked me my stance on each person. As soon as HE came through with an opinion, it really helped me make my decision.

    Barbaras last blog post..Alternative Wedding Venue

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